I love how you keep the paper interesting, it's got a great forward motion to it.
It seems like the paper comes to a stop at your conclusion...and I don't mean to sound stupid saying it like that but your summary of what just happened was where the motion in the paper seemed to come to a halt. Everything was seamless until the recap stated what I just read in the same way. I'm not quite sure how, but it seems like a writer of your talent could add some clever line in there to keep it going right to the very end. :)
Using several examples of controlling time in stories, adds confusion as to which you are really trying to convey and explain. Other than that, it was a great essay! you have a wonderful writing style and you even used quotes! I agree with Chris that the conclusion was a little bland, but it is hard to follow up such strong body paragraphs. So spice it up a little and you will have an even better essay. Great job, keep it up! :)
(September 16th assignment)
ReplyDeleteI love how you keep the paper interesting, it's got a great forward motion to it.
It seems like the paper comes to a stop at your conclusion...and I don't mean to sound stupid saying it like that but your summary of what just happened was where the motion in the paper seemed to come to a halt. Everything was seamless until the recap stated what I just read in the same way. I'm not quite sure how, but it seems like a writer of your talent could add some clever line in there to keep it going right to the very end. :)
Fun, and highly interesting paper to read! :)
Using several examples of controlling time in stories, adds confusion as to which you are really trying to convey and explain. Other than that, it was a great essay! you have a wonderful writing style and you even used quotes! I agree with Chris that the conclusion was a little bland, but it is hard to follow up such strong body paragraphs. So spice it up a little and you will have an even better essay. Great job, keep it up! :)
ReplyDelete